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This was in keeping with Japhy's theories about women and lovaking. I forgot to mention that the day the rock artist had called on him in the late afternoon, a girl had come right after, a blonde in rubber boots and a Tibetan coat with wooden buttons, and in the general talk she'd inquired about our plan to climb Mount Matterhorn and said "Can I come with ya?" as she was a bit of a mountainclimber herself.
这跟 贾菲 对于女上下团结性爱的理念是相符的。我忘记了说在那石头艺术家拜访他的阿谁黄昏,一个女郎仅随即所致,穿着胶靴、西藏式木制钮扣外衣的金发女郎,在闲谈中她询问有关我们攀登 马特洪峰 的计划并以有点以她自己是登山运带动的语气说道:“我能和你结伴一起吗?”
"Shore," said Japhy, in his funny voice he used for joking, a big loud deep imitation of a lumberjack he knew in the Northwest, a ranger actually, old Burnie Byers, "shore, come on with us and we'll all screw ya at ten thousand feet" and the way he said it was so funny and casual, and in fact serious, that the girl wasn't shocked at all but somewhat pleased. In this same spirit he'd now brought this girl Princess to our cottage, it was about eight o'clock at night, dark, Alvah and I were quietly sipping tea and reading pos or typing pos at the typewriter and two bicycles came in the yard: Japhy on his, Princess on hers. Princess had gray eyes and yellow hair and was very beautiful and only twenty. I must say one thing about her, she was sex mad and man mad, so there wasn't much of a probl in persuading her to play yabyum. "Don't you know about yabyum, Smith?" said Japhy in his big booming voice striding in in his boots holding Princess's hand. "Princess and I come here to show ya, boy."
“当...然!”贾菲 用他泛泛开打趣的滑稽声线说道,那是效仿他在西北认识的伐木工,现实上是个民警骑兵,伯尼·尔斯 的低沉伟大响亮的声音,“当...然, 跟我们一起,在万尺云霄上我们会一起"操"你”他随意风趣,但其实很当真的说,那女郎一点儿也不惊呀而是有点欣忭。在跟这一样的表情下,他带同这女郎「明妃」到达我们的小屋,大概是晚上八点,昏黑的,阿尔瓦 和我在安静地抿茶,阅读或在打字机上键入诗歌然后两辆自行车开进院子来:贾菲 骑他的,「明妃」 骑她的。「明妃」只有廿拾岁,阴郁的秋水和金黄色的头发非常标致。关于她有一样工具我肯定是要说,她是色情狂及"花痴",所以使心服她合作<双修>算不上是个困难的问题。“你知否关于「双修」的,施密斯?”贾菲 按照他伟大隆亮的声音、顺随他的靴子跨步步入,握住「明妃」的手说道。“小子,「明妃」和我来这搭给你演示。”
"Suits me," said I, "whatever it is." Also I'd known Princess before and had been mad about her, in the City, about a year ago. It was just another wild coincidence that she had happened to meet Japhy and fallen in love with him and madly too, she'd do anything he said. Whenever people dropped in to visit us at the cottage I'd always put my red bandana over the little wall lamp and put out the ceiling light to make a nice cool red dim scene to sit and drink wine and talk in. I did this, and went to get the bottle out of the kitchen and couldn't believe my eyes when I saw Japhy and Alvah taking their clothes off and throwing th every whichaway and I looked and Princess was stark naked, her skin white as snow when the red sun hits it at dusk, in the dim red light. "What the hell," I said.
“切合于我!”我说,“那随便。”这个之外大概一年前在城中我己认识「明妃」并且为她痴狂。这只是另外一个激情的巧合,她偶然遇见并爱上了贾菲 她他也是同样地痴狂,对于他唯命是从。每当有人到小屋走访我们,我总会关掉天花吊灯,用我的红色大方布覆盖着墙上那小壁灯,盈造一个暗红平和景致,端起酒杯闲谈。我照常如许做,准备到庖厨取酒时,我不相信我的眼晴,我看到 贾菲和 阿尔瓦 在脱掉他们的衣服并随意乱扔,我见到「明妃」纯粹的赤裸,在暗红光线里她的皮肤犹如被黄昏红太阳照射射的白雪。“这算什么!?”我说。
"Here's what yabyum is, Smith," said Japhy, and he sat crosslegged on the pillow on the floor and motioned to Princess, who came over and sat down on him facing him with her arms about his neck and they sat like that saying nothing for a while. Japhy wasn't at all nervous and barrassed and just sat there in perfect form just as he was supposed to do. "This is what they do in the tples of Tibet. It's a holy cerony, it's done just like this in front of chanting priests. People pray and recite Om Mani Pahdme Hum, which means Amen the Thunderbolt in the Dark Void. I'm the thunderbolt and Princess is the dark void, you see."
“这就是「定慧双修」了,史密斯,”贾菲说,他结「跏趺坐」坐在地板的垫子上并对于 明妃 示意,她过去并坐在他身上,面向着他双手围扰他的颈项,他们好象静坐了一会。贾菲 一点儿也不严重尴尬直象这是理所当然地端坐在那里。“在西藏他们是在寺院如此如许做的。这是神圣的典礼,在吟颂咒咒文的法师跟前就如许做。人们祷告、吟诵 人祈告、吟诵 “唵、嘛、呢、叭、咪、吽”,那意思是"顺从暗黑虚空中的卍"。我是卍而「明妃」就是暗黑虚空,你明解?” *（卍:佛光）
"But what's she thinking?" I yelled almost in despair, I'd had such idealistic longings for that girl in that past year and had conscience-stricken hours wondering if I should seduce her because she was so young and all.
"Oh this is lovely," said Princess. "Come on and try it."
"But I can't sit crosslegged like that." Japhy was sitting in the full lotus position, it's called, with both ankles over both thighs. Alvah was sitting on the mattress trying to yank his ankles over his thighs to do it. Finally Japhy's legs began to hurt and they just tumbled over on the mattress where both Alvah and Japhy began to explore the territory. I still couldn't believe it.
“但我不能那样子趺坐。”贾菲 正以被唤作「双跏莲花坐」的形态坐着,两个足踝全在一双大腿上。阿尔瓦 坐在床垫上要做这形态,测验考试攀拉他的足踝置于大腿上。最后 贾菲 的腿起头疼痛,他们绊倒在地席,那 阿尔瓦 贾菲 双互推开扩展的领地。我对于此仍然是不能相信。
"Take your clothes off and join in, Smith!" But on top of all that, the feelings about Princess, I'd also gone through an entire year of celibacy based on my feeling that lust was the direct cause of birth which was the direct cause of suffering and death and I had really no lie come to a point where I regarded lust as offensive and even cruel.
"Pretty girls make graves," was my saying, whenever I'd had to turn my head around involuntarily to stare at the incomparable pretties of Indian Mexico. And the absence of active lust in me had also given me a new peaceful life that I was enjoying a great deal. But this was too much. I was still afraid to take my clothes off; also I never liked to do that in front of more than one person, especially with men around. But Japhy didn't give a goddamn hoot and holler about any of this and pretty soon he was making Princess happy and then Alvah had a turn (with his big serious eyes staring in the dim light, and him reading pos a minute ago). So I said "How about me startin to work on her arm?"
“美少女是作冢的,”每当我偶然忘形地盯住那些奇特的印度裔墨西哥美少女时,这是我的谚语。然而那缺乏活跃性欲的情怀也给我一种十分享受、平和恬静的生活。但这太不像话了。我仍然害怕脱去自己的衣服;而且我决不喜欢在第三者面前做阿谁,尤其周围是汉子。但 贾菲 对于这个纯粹没有任何诅骂抱怨而且他很快便另「明妃」欢乐喜悦起来,然后是 阿尔瓦 的次遍(携带他那在一刻前仍在暗光中阅读诗歌的凝重严肃眼神儿)。如此我说:“那我如何?起头对于她的怀抱感兴奋!”
"Go ahead, great." Which I did, lying down on the floor with all my clothes on and kissing her hand, then her wrist, then up, to her body, as she laughed and almost cried with delight everybody everywhere working on her. All the peaceful celibacy of my Buddhism was going down the drain. "Smith, I distrust any kind of Buddhism or any kinda philosophy or social syst that puts down sex," said Japhy quite scholarly now that he was done and sitting naked crosslegged rolling himself a Bull Durham cigarette (which he did as part of his "simplicity" life). It ended up with everybody naked and finally making gay pots of coffee in the kitchen and Princess on the kitchen floor naked with her knees clasped in her arms, lying on her side, just for nothing, just to do it, then finally she and I took a warm bath together in the bathtub and could hear Alvah and Japhy discussing Zen Free Love Lunacy orgies in the other room.
“上吧,太棒了!”我如是作,和衣倒躺在地上并亲嘴她的手,然后她的手腕儿,然后往上,朝她的身躯,依随由于方圆每小我私家也因她而兴奋,使她乐得象豪哭的笑声。我所有的平静节欲佛教想法都付诸水流。“ 史密斯,我不相信任何抑压性欲的佛教宗派或哲学理念及社会形态制度,”完过后的 贾菲,赤裸盘膝坐着,一边儿用「达拉谟牤牛」烟纸为自己卷着喷鼻烟(那是他践行简朴生活的一部分)一边儿很学者风范地说道。这以大家赤裸为结束并最后是在庖厨泡煮一壶纵脱的咖啡而赤裸的「明妃」却自己躺在庖厨地上一傍双膝钩扣在自己双臂,不为何事,只那样子做,然后最终她跟我一起在浴缸洗了一个暖水澡并听见 阿尔瓦和 贾菲 在房间谈论 禅、自由、性爱、疯狂纵欲。
"Hey Princess we'll do this every Thursday night, hey?" yelled Japhy. "It'll be a regular function."
“ 唏「明妃」我们将在每一个星期四晚做这个,唏?”贾菲 叫喊。“这个将是定期聚会。”
"Yeah," yelled Princess from the bathtub. I'm telling you she was actually glad to do all this and told me "You know, I feel like I'mthe mother of all things and I have to take care of my little children."
"You're such a young pretty thing yourself."
"But I'm the old mother of earth. I'm a Bodhisattva." She was just a little off her nut but when I heard her say "Bodhisattva" I realized she wanted to be a big Buddhist like Japhy and being a girl the only way she could express it was this way, which had its traditional roots in the yabyum cerony of Tibetan Buddhism, so everything was fine.
“我除了是大地的老妈以外。我是个菩萨。”她只是有点措辞不经大脑,但当我听见她说"菩萨"时,我明白到她想象 贾菲 一样成为一个先进的佛教徒,同时作为一位女子,她是能寄托这要领迅速达成的,那「双修」典礼在藏传佛教中有它的传统特征,所以一切都是无所谓的。
Alvah was immensely pleased and was all for the idea of "every Thursday night" and so was I by now.
"Alvah, Princess says she's a Bodhisattva."
"Of course she is."
"She says she's the mother of all of us."
"The Bodhisattva women of Tibet and parts of ancient India," said Japhy, "were taken and used as holy concubines in tples and sometimes in ritual caves and would get to lay up a stock of merit and they meditated too. All of th, men and women, they'd meditate, fast, have balls like this, go back to eating, drinking, talking, hike around, live in viharas in the rainy season and outdoors in the dry, there was no question of what to do about sex which is what I always liked about Oriental religion. And what I always dug about the Indians in our country . . . You know when I was a little kid in Oregon I didn't feel that I was an American at all, with all that suburban ideal and sex repression and general dreary newspaper gray censorship of all our real human values but and when I discovered Buddhism and all I suddenly felt that I had lived in a previous lifetime innumerable ages ago and now because of faults and sins in that lifetime I was being degraded to a more grievous domain of existence and my karma was to be born in America where nobody has any fun or believes in anything, especially freedom. That's why I was always sympathetic to freedom movents, too, like anarchism in the Northwest, the oldtime heroes of Everett Massacre and all. . . ." It ended up with long earnest discussions about all these subjects and finally Princess got dressed and went home with Japhy on their bicycles and Alvah and I sat facing each other in the dim red light.
“西藏「佛母」是古天竺的一部分,”贾菲说,“ 她们会被带到寺庙或制礼的洞窟充任神圣的妃嫔;她们会积累她们所瞻仰的功德。他们全数,男和女的,一起冥想,斋戒,像如许的聚会,回去进食,饮酒,谈论,游方,雨季住进寺庙,好天住在旷野,对于如何看待「性」是毫无疑难的,那是我一直喜爱东方宗教的原因。也就是我探究国内印度人的原因...你懂得吗,当我在 俄勒冈州 还是小男学生的时候,我感觉自己底子不是美国人,陪同种种土头土脑的想法.对于性欲的抑压,大部分数保守报章对于人的总称真正价值的淡化袒护,但当我发明佛教等等,我俄然感到我前生是一个生于从前不知年代的人,可现在我因为那前生的罪与孽,被贬降在更痛苦的范畴之中生活,我的因果恶果是出生于美国,在那里所有人都是了无生趣、信仰全无,唯特是自由的。这个也就是我总是对于自由运动有所共识的原因,象西北部的「无当局主义」,「埃弗雷特 大搏斗」等等...”这以围绕这些个主题作长时间的挚诚讨论而结束,「明妃」穿好衣服和 贾菲 骑他们的自行车回家,而我和 阿尔瓦 在暗红灯光里对于视而坐。
"But you know, Ray, Japhy is really sharp—he's really the wildest craziest sharpest cat we've ever met. And what I love about him is he's the big hero of the West Coast, do you realize I've been out here for two years now and hadn't met anybody worth knowing really or anybody with any truly illuminated intelligence and was giving up hope for the West Coast? Besides all the background he has, in Oriental scholarship, Pound, taking peyote and seeing visions, his mountainclimbing and bhikkuing, 魔兽世界, Japhy Ryder is a great new hero of American culture."
“但你得懂得,雷,贾菲 真是小我私家物—事实上他是我们遇见过之中最疯狂,最了不起,最凸起的。我喜欢他因他正是西岸的大英雄,你明白否,到现今我从老远到这搭两年了,未始遇见任何真正值得认识、任何真正能启迪智慧的人,并对于西岸抛却了一切希望? 除却了他所有的出身违景以外---他对于东方的学识、庞德、服食迷幻仙人掌、看见异象、他的登山之旅、行脚游方,噢！贾菲?瑞得 新近美国文化中的大英雄。”
"He's mad!" I agreed. "And other things I like about him, his quiet sad moments when he don't say much. . . ."
"Gee, I wonder what will happen to him in the end."
"I think he'll end up like Han Shan living alone in the mountains and writing pos on the walls of cliffs, or chanting th to crowds outside his cave."
“我想他会如 寒山子 一样,最独居于山野,在悬崖峭壁著作他的诗歌,及向在他洞窑外堆积的人群吟颂。”
"Or maybe he'll go to Hollywood and be a movie star, you know he said that the other day, he said 'Alvah you know I've never thought of going to the movies and becoming a star, I can do anything you know, I haven't tried that yet,' and I believe him, he can do anything. Did you see the way he had Princess all wrapped around Mm?"
“也许他会到 好莱坞 当影戏明星,你知否他几天前曾那样子说。他说‘阿尔瓦 你知否,我从未想过去参于影戏及成为―个明星,我能够作出任何你懂得的,我还未测验考试阿谁。'然而我相信他,他能作任何事。你有看到他让「明妃」唯唯是诺的样子吗?”
"Aye indeed" and later that night as Alvah slept I sat under the tree in the yard and looked up at the stars or closed my eyes to meditate and tried to quiet myself down back to my normal self. Alvah couldn't sleep and came out and lay flat on his back in the grass looking up at the sky, and said "Big steamy clouds going by in the dark up there, it makes me realize we live on an actual planet."
“实在赞成”那天晚上随即,当 阿尔瓦 睡著,我坐在庭院的那树下,看着天上的星星,瞌上双目冥想并试着把自己平息返回正常的本质。阿尔瓦 不能睡着,出来躺身在草地上仰望苍穹并说道“袭大的雨云在黑夜的上空越过,它让我认识到,我们住在一个真实的星球。”
"Close your eyes and you'll see more than that."
"Oh I don't know what you mean by all that!" he said pettishly. He was always being bugged by my little lectures on Samadhi ecstasy, which is the state you reach when you stop everything and stop your mind and you actually with your eyes closed see a kind of eternal multiswarm of electrical Power of some kind ululating in place of just pitiful images and forms of objects, which are, after all, imaginary. And if you don't believe me come back in a billion years and deny it. For what is time?
"Don't you think it's much more interesting just to be like Japhy and have girls and studies and good times and really be doing something, than all this silly sitting under trees?"
“你想这是否比 贾菲 那样子的俱有女色、那样子的研学、那样子的欢乐时光越发实在;比那些在树下鸠拙闲坐越发有意思?"
"Nope," I said, and meant it, and I knew Japhy would agree with me. "All Japhy's doing is amusing himself in the void."
“错的。”我对于它定性地说,而我知 贾菲 会认同我。“贾菲 所作的,只是在空虚中排解自己。”
"I don't think so."
"I bet he is.I'm going mountainclimbing with him next week and find out and tell you."
"Well" (sigh), "as for me, I'm just going to go on being Alvah Goldbook and to hell with all this Buddhist bullshit."
“好”(叹息)。“对于我来说,我只是作为 阿尔瓦·高保 ー起而行并让这些个扯淡的佛教涂说见鬼去。”
"You'll be sorry some day. Why don't you ever understand what I'm trying to tell you: it's with your six senses that you're fooled into believing not only that you have six senses, but that you contact an actual outside world with th. If it wasn't for your eyes, you wouldn't see me. If it wasn't for your ears, you wouldn't hear that airplane. If it wasn't for your nose, you wouldn't smell the midnight mint. If it wasn't for your tongue taster, you wouldn't taste the difference between A and B. If it wasn't for your body, you wouldn't feel Princess. There is no me, no airplane, no mind, no Princess, no nothing, you for krissakes do you want to go on being fooled every damn minute of your life?"
"Yes, that's all I want, I thank God that something has come out of nothing."
"Well, I got news for you, it's the other way around nothing has come out of something, and that something is Dharmakaya, the body of the True Meaning, and that nothing is this and all this twaddle and talk. I'm going to bed."
"Well sometimes I see a flash of illumination in what you're trying to say but believe me I get more of a satori out of Princess than out of words."
"It's a satori of your foolish flesh,you lecher."
"I know my redeer liveth."
"What redeer and what liveth?"
"Oh let's cut this out and just live!"
"Balls, when I thought like you, Alvah, I was just as miserable and graspy as you are now. All you want to do is run out there and get laid and get beat up and get screwed up and get old and sick and banged around by samsara, you fucking eternal meat of comeback you you'll deserve it too, I'll say."
"That's not nice. Everybody's tearful and trying to live with what they got. Your Buddhism has made you mean Ray and makes you even afraid to take your clothes off for a simple healthy orgy."
"Well, I did finally, didn't I?"
"But you were coming on so ninety about— Oh let's forget it."
Alvah went to bed and I sat and closed my eyes and thought "This thinking has stopped" but because I had to think it no thinking had stopped, but there did come over me a wave of gladness to know that all this perturbation was just a dream already ended and I didn't have to worry because I wasn't "I" and I prayed that God, or Tathagata, would give me enough time and enough sense and strength to be able to tell people what I knew (as I can't even do properly now) so they'd know what I know and not despair so much. The old tree brooded over me silently, a living thing. I heard a mouse snoring in the garden weeds. The rooftops of Berkeley looked like pitiful living meat sheltering grieving phantoms from the eternality of the heavens which they feared to face. By the time I went to bed I wasn't taken in by no Princess or no desire for no Princess and nobody's disapproval and I felt glad and slept well.
阿尔瓦 上床睡觉而我坐下闭目思想“让这想法停止”但我「想」所以「想法」没有停止,但此帯给我一阵子的愉悦(明白到这所有的搅扰不安只是个早已完结的梦),然而我无需搅扰皆因我不曾是「我」,我恳求上天或 如来佛 能给我充裕的时间,足够的智慧和力量去告诉世人我所知的(即使我现在不能正确做到)以至他们明白我所懂得的故而不用那么绝望。那老树静静地罩盖着我,ー个有情众生。我听见一只耗子在花园荒草里打呼噜。伯克利 的苍穹看似悯恻存活的皮相寄住着那从可怕的诸天无间而来的悲伤幽灵。到上床睡觉的时候,我没有对于「无(明妃)」,「无(无明妃)」,「(无无明妃)尽」再加以思考并感觉欢乐喜悦,酣睡。